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Remembering Family at the Holidays
– Maureen A. Taylor
What's the best present for kids at the holidays? Not the latest toy. How about giving them a sense of their family history? I'm talking about introducing your children or grandchildren to the concept of genealogy. It is so easy to start the process. My mother-in-law had a tradition of making Christmas cookies with her children when they were younger. I've decided that it is a custom worth carrying forward. Whenever we host the holidays, I gather together all the ingredients and hand out aprons. My son and daughter love helping their Grandmother make and decorate the treats. Of course, during the process I try to get her to talk about her experiences doing the same task with her own children. There couldn't be a more rapt audience than children listening to the mischievous exploits of their father and his sisters. They always want the details. It doesn't matter that the same stories get repeated-- it's oral history. It's one of the best ways to get their attention. They are fascinated with how different the world was for their parents or grandparents and how it is the same.
Establishing that sense of family is so important. It helps children understand their place in the family and is reassuring. My son is happy that his Dad was such a prankster and runs off to top anything his father did to torment his sister. As the screaming in the other room starts, I can't believe I condoned these stories. Wait a minute. Did I say that this was a good idea? Seriously, as much as genealogists use charts and documents to organize their family research, the kids won't be interested in looking at them. Think about simple ways to bring genealogy into the holidays without immediately dragging out the tools of the trade. If you have an old printed family tree, sampler, or some other visual, then by all means, show it off. Then, try these other techniques to incubate their interest.
Tell Stories. Remember what the holidays meant to you when you were their age. Tell them about favorite toys, foods, and celebrations. They may look at you like you're a dinosaur when you discuss your early life, but they will be fascinated if you including fun details. Invite guests to participate with tales of their own childhood. The best way to reach children and capture their attention is to recount stories they can relate to, generally about what happened when you were their age.
Show Pictures. My daughter spends countless hours with the family photograph albums. She loves reliving her toddler years and looking at her family when they were younger. Children are very perceptive. They will ask about the events behind the photographs. I find young children, ages four to six, will pick out details that adults overlook. For instance, they love to discuss why someone was expressing a particular emotion. This is a wonderful time to find all your pictures of pets and talk about them. As new owners of multiple fish, my kids now love hearing about all the animals in the family. Not just the ones I owned, but the fact that their grandmother had a dog called Snowball. What a conversation starter! It only takes a child to approach an older person with that look of intense curiosity to connect the generations with a question: "Nana, why did you call your dog Snowball?" Half an hour later they will still be talking about the topic and comparing pet exploits.
Take A Tour of Your House. There is bound to be some anecdotes behind artifacts, whether antique or not. Is there a special piece of furniture or a set of dishes passed down for generations? It doesn't have to be worthy of an Antique Roadshow, it just has to be important to your family. I bet that some of the kitchen appliances even have tales to tell. You probably have old tools or accessories that will fascinate youngsters both because they are old (remember we live in a society that replaces things) and because they haven't seen anything like them before. My dad has his great-grandfather's equipment passed down for three generations of the family business. Did I say this was an activity for kids and adult children? Well, it is. This is a chance to get your parents to discuss their lives, something they didn't have time to do when you were young. They were too busy raising their children and paying the bills. Sound familiar?
Let Older Children or Teenagers Design and Write the Family Newsletter. You'll be surprised at their memories of each year's events. I guarantee you'll find their highlights different from your own. I'd read it over before having it duplicated and sent to family, just in case there is material you'd prefer to remain private. My daughter is now fixated on how old people are in relation to herself. Without a doubt she would mention how old I am. She manages to work this detail in all of her conversations with friends these days, so I'm sure it would make the family newsletter. I think that is why we don't have one. The best part of these intergenerational activities is that they help children stay in touch with their family at an age when they feel alienated.
Create a New Tradition. While you are preparing the habitual foods and decorations, ask the children to develop a new legacy. It might be something simple or you could go back to your roots and re-introduce a dish with an ethnic flavor. Sometimes cooking is an oral tradition as well. My grandmother taught my mother to make her special chowder and she taught me. In turn, I'm passing this onto my children. There is no recipe and it can't be recreated on paper. I'm not sure why, but whenever I make it I feel a connection with the past.
Take a Short Trip. If the holiday is near where your ancestors lived, use the visit as an opportunity to show off where people lived, worked, and went to school. Pull out a copy of an old map or try to find an old auto club travel guide or WPA manual and use it to find your way around. It's good for a few laughs. The older generations may recall the landmarks of their youth, but this will be new for the kids.
Play Games. Many of the same games you played as a child are still available today. If you still have your original version, drag it out and invite the family to play. Try teaching the kids a card game from your childhood. They will probably see similarities to the ones they play today. Take a break from electronic toys and show them what fun was like before television and video games. There will be a certain amount of disbelief but there is nothing like a game to teach every participant a few things. Besides, it provides a relaxing after-mealtime activity and memories that can't be duplicated. You and the children will remember it forever.
Go Online. If you can't convince teenagers that your suggestions are enjoyable, try making family history a group activity by discovering where your family was in 1920? 1820? Or farther back. See what information is available in maps, documents, and census records through Ancestry.com. Try to focus on one person and create a new family story from the information you find.
Sure, the holidays are stressful and tiring, but they are also a great time to remember their original purpose. Holidays are about being with family and friends. Why not take the time to discover something new about that uncle you can't stand? You might be surprised to hear about his exploits and find out he isn't as bad as he seems. Take a break from the hectic preparations and find a way to step back. Whenever the holidays get too frenetic, try to think about what you want your kids or grandkids to remember about the day. You'll slow down and take it easier for their sake. Whatever you do and whomever you're with, remember to bring a little history to the table. Some genealogical discoveries are sure to follow. At the end of the day, bring out that printed tree or sampler again and ask the kids to create their own using the new things they learned. You've helped create a whole new generation of genealogists and have the visual proof.
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Maureen A. Taylor, is the author of Preserving Your Family Photographs (Betterway 2001) and Uncovering Your Ancestry Through Family Photographs (Betterway 2000) as well as a guide to family history for kids, Through the Eyes of Your Ancestors (Houghton Mifflin, 1999). Her numerous television and radio appearances include The View, MSNBC and DIY: Scrapbooking. She can be reached at: mailto:mtaylor@taylorandstrong.com
Copyright 2001, MyFamily.com.
(Copyright © 1998-2001, MyFamily.com Inc. and its subsidiaries.), "Ancestry Daily News" (http://www.ancestry.com/dailynews)
Surname Databases/Search Engines
Normal search engines are only part of a genealogist's arsenal when hunting for surname information. The internet is now home to large amounts of free and subscription-based surname databases and search engines.
Below is a list of some of the best free and subscription-based surname databases/search engines on the net. Just remember the rule of thumb to follow when dealing with online data is to view it with an element of suspicion until it can be properly verified. Too many people still think "if it's on the internet it must be true".
The Social Security Death Index
The "Social Security Death Index" is one of the most useful databases on the internet. This database contains the names of over 64 million Americans plus information such as social security numbers, birth and death dates, and last known residence.
Click Here for instructions on how to search the SSDI.
"Kindred Konnections" is a pay-for-service database that also offers a way to access the database for free. In exchange for extracting names and dates from original source documents, you get one hour in the subscription-based area of the web site. During your one free hour you can access millions of marriage, birth, death, and census records. They also have a 56 million name pedigree-linked archive. You are allowed to build up an unlimited amount of free hours which can be used immediately or saved for a future date.
Click Here to obtain an account number and password. You can select whether you want a paid or free subscription at the beginning of the form.
Sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints , "Family Search" is one of the most popular geneology sites on the internet. From this site you can search millions of family records from a variety of sources including the Ancestral File , the International Genealogical Index, the Pedigree Resource File and websites.
The Ancestral File
The Ancestral File is a compilation of genealogies submitted by people worldwide to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This file contains over 35 million names and provides contact information for the person who submitted the information.
International Genealogical Index
The International Genealogical Index (IGI) lists the dates and places of births, christening and marriages for more than 285 million deceased people. Names were extracted from original records from the early 1500s to the early 1900's.
The Pedigree Resource File
A database of compiled pedigrees submitted by users via the online "Family Search" Internet Genealogy Service, or gathered from printed histories and other sources.
"Family Search" is easy to use for beginners. Once you arrive at the site click on "Help" on the top right corner of the site for instructions on how to use the search features.
This is a searchable list or registry of over one million surnames from around the world. Associated with each surname are dates and locations and the contact information of the person who submitted the information. You can search the RSL by surname or look through the monthly update section for new additions.
Once you arrive at the site scroll down until you see the heading "Search the RootsWeb Surname List".
From there simply type your surname into the "Surname" search field and click "Submit".
You will then be presented with a table of results. You will see the headings "From", "To", "Migration", and "Submitter".
The "From" and "To" columns contain dates. These dates tell you that the person researching your surname has information that covers those dates.
The "Migration" column shows a submitters info about the areas the family lived in.
By clicking on the names in the "Submitter" column you can obtain the email address of the person who submitted the information.
Click Here to browse the Rootsweb Helpdesk.
Ancestry.com is a subscription-based geneology site. For a monthly fee you can search a multitude of records including census indexes and marriage records. Ancestry.com also has a free-to-use surname search service called World Tree. The World Tree database contains over 75 million names that are contained in GEDCOMS.
This database includes over 1.7 million records from over three thousand cemeteries worldwide.
Click Here for tips on searching this database.
Surname Web provides a searchable registry from which you can perform a surname search through over three billion genealogy records and over one hundred thousand geneology web sites.
Simply enter your surname into the search field at the top of the page and click "Search".
One of the largest geneology databases on the net, the World Connect Project currently contains over fifty six million names in over one million databases that can all be searched free of charge. You can also submit your own family tree information in GEDCOM format for free.
Simply enter your surname into the "World Connect" search field and click search. You will then be presented with a list of all the GEDCOMs that contain your surname. You can further refine your search by entering first name, place of birth or death.
You will also find the email address of the person who submitted the GEDCOM, so you can contact them directly.
Another great feature of "World Connect" is the electronic "post-em" note. You can leave a "post-em" note so other researchers will see you are researching that family.
Click Here for further help on using World Connect.
A daily index of published obituaries worldwide. This index grows by about 2,500 entries per day and goes back to 1995.
Provides passenger lists of it's own as well as links to other passenger lists on the net. You can find passenger lists from ships sailing from the 1400's right through to the 1900's. Countries represented are New Zealand, Australia, South America, Canada , South Africa, the United Kingdom, Scotland, Ireland and the United States.
Each region, province, state, country has a page on WorldGenWeb with links to genealogy information, and often, transcribed records.
Once you arrive at the site simply click on the country you are interested in.
Or you can link directly to the region specific GenWeb sites below.