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Strange Happenings in Cemeteries

– Megan Smolenyak Serendipity is one of those words we don't use every day, but to me, it's simply "when good things happen unexpectedly." As genealogists, we seem to get more than our share and I love speaking on the subject. When I do, someone inevitably asks a question along the lines of, "How do I get some of that?"

Having immersed myself in the serendipitous experiences of over five thousand people, the best advice I can give is this: Hang out in cemeteries. Really.

More genealogical "coincidences" seem to happen in cemeteries than any other venue, and this being Halloween, what better time to share a few graveyard stories? Perhaps I should detour first to explain that family history "tales from the crypt" tend to come in three flavors:


--- I tripped over it (Arriving at a cemetery, the researcher encounters a sea of tombstones and an obstacle to viewing records. Despairing of ever finding the ones she's seeking, she wanders aimlessly and - more often than not - trips and comes face to face with the sought after stone.) --- Live cousins in a cemetery (Distant cousins who have never heard of each other and live thousands of miles apart meet when they show up at their mutual great-great-granddaddy's grave at the same time.) --- Other (Anything else that can happen in a cemetery!)

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Tripped Over It Here's one of my favorite "tripped over it" stories:

I Will Always Love You About three years ago, I was researching my mother-in-law's family, trying to find her grandparents. Her name was Areita Jones Sherburn and she passed away in 1992. At her funeral, the popular Whitney Houston rendition of the song "I Will Always Love You" was played. After that, it was difficult for my husband to hear the song until I told him that he would have to remember that whenever it came on the radio, this meant Mom was with us. Since then, hearing that song has always been very comforting.

Not much was known about my mother-in-law's grandparents, Charles and Sarah Jones. Some said they were from Pennsylvania, while others said New York. Fortunately, I discovered that they were buried in a local cemetery, so I thought I would go and see what I could find.

As I drove through the gates, I realized how futile this undertaking would be as the cemetery was huge and Jones was such a common name. I continued on the drive and found myself in the old part of the cemetery. As I rounded a bend and saw yet another stretch of tombstones, I became even more discouraged.

Not knowing what else to do, I decided to stop the car and walk around. Just before I shut off the engine, the first notes of "I Will Always Love You" came on the radio. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. I said, "OK, Mom, you're with me and going to help me on this one."

Before I got out of the car, I looked out the window to the left. Up on the hill about fifty feet away was a stone with the name Jones on it. I walked up and saw the names I was seeking: Charles and Sarah Jones. I knew then that Mom was truly with me. --- Diana L. Sherburn

Our ancestors want to be found as much as we want to find them and tripping us is just one way to get our attention. In Diana's case, her mother-in-law was perhaps a little more thoughtful than most and chose to use music as her means of saying, "Over here!"

Accidental Meetings Have you ever had the pleasure of making an unexpected connection through a cemetery visit? A surprising number of us have and this next experience is as "typical" as any of this can be said to be.

Timing Is Everything I spent a week in Pennsylvania giving one final push to my research so I could finish my family history book. In spite of all my digging, my father's half-brother remained elusive, so I reluctantly resolved to complete the book without the details of his life. Although my father thought a great deal of his much older half-sibling, I knew almost nothing about him. I wasn't sure he had married or where he had lived, and could find no clue of what had happened to him. My family had moved to Florida in 1958, and after my dad died in 1972 at age 49, the families lost touch.

On the day of my departure, I had about three hours until I had to catch my plane, so I decided to sneak in one last bit of research. I dropped by the library in Uniontown, conveniently located on the way to the airport. I randomly selected a book on cemeteries and it flipped open to La Fayette Cemetery. My eyes were immediately drawn to a listing for John Murray - my elusive half-uncle! I knew it was the right man because the birth date matched.

The cemetery was also on my way to the airport, so I decided to push my luck with one more unscheduled stop. When I arrived, I saw that it was huge. Realizing that I would never find his grave without directions, I went to the office.

The office was quiet, with just the secretary and one other visitor. When I asked for the record of John Murray, the other woman looked at me and said, "You don't mean John L. Murray, do you?"

I said, "Yes, why?"

She replied, "He was my grandfather."

While the stunned secretary retrieved the record, I went out to my car and brought in the draft of my manuscript. My newly discovered cousin and I stood in the office looking it over. Virginia said her family had just been talking about genealogy a few days before. They never knew who her grandfather's parents were and she was amazed that I should show up with all the answers. She kept repeating, "I'm not believing this . . ."

The secretary copied the portion of my manuscript that pertained to Virginia's branch of the family and Virginia told me everything I needed to know to finish my book. With promises to keep in touch, I dashed out of the cemetery and managed, with precision timing, to just catch my flight! --- Donna Murray Allen

The most extreme "live cousins" story I know involves two women who lived in Washington and Germany and met in Florida. Apparently, distance is no barrier to this variety of serendipity.

Another Serendipitous Discovery Finally, here's one of those "other" tales about a child who obviously wanted to be remembered.

A Really Good Friday As I searched the records of Jackson County, Minnesota, I was unable to find the birth record of a sibling of my grandmother. According to my great-grandfather's obituary, the child had died in infancy. I was disappointed, as I had never known about this child and wanted to learn more about her.

Needing to take a break from the dusty volumes, my daughter and I headed to the far corner of the county to see some ancestral graves whose location we had just discovered. There, in an old cemetery behind the now-newer church, were the graves of my great-great- grandparents, Ludwig and Karolina Pallas. Beside them, with a hard- to-read headstone, was what appeared to be the grave of this little mystery great-aunt.

This was an unexpected discovery, but almost more surprising was the fact that the office was open. I thought this was odd since it was the afternoon of Good Friday, but didn't qestion my good fortune. The lady there kindly explained that the records for the cemetery were with the church elders. All she had was an old ledger-type book. She opened it to emphasize her words, and pointed to a random entry, explaining, "See, it's all in German."

Her finger pointed to the entry for Karolina Marie Thompson, the very child for whom we searched! There were her dates of birth and death, along with verification of her parents' names. Because she had died the same day she was born, her birth had never been recorded in the county's civil records.

My final piece of good luck? The reason the church was open was because they were having a copy machine delivered. The man had just finished installing it as I wandered in. They tested the machine by making copies of little Karolina's records! --- Diane Wrightsman Tavoian

The rest of the world may think of cemeteries as spooky places, but we all know better. The rewards are many for those of us who dare to venture into graveyards. Just to be safe, though, I think I'll keep my visits to daylight hours!

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Megan Smolenyak is the author of In Search of Our Ancestors, and the forthcoming Honoring Our Ancestors, can be reached through www.honoringourancestors.com The examples above are from In Search of Our Ancestors, which is also available through the above Web site.


(Copyright © 1998-2001, MyFamily.com Inc. and its subsidiaries.), "Ancestry Daily News" (http://www.ancestry.com/dailynews)


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